


You Slam Dunked the Child?

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale
Genre: Babysitter Sans, Chara With Seperate Body, Chocolate, Fluff, Gen, Houseplant Flowey, Junk Food - Freeform, PTA Sans, Pacifist Chara, Pacifist Frisk, Papyrus with Gasterblasters, Post-Pacifist Route, Sans is a Terrible Babysitter, Selectively Mute Frisk, Sharing a Body, Slam-Dunking, This does have a plot, Verbal Chara, horrible ideas, hotdogs, sort of, updated often
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-01 20:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6535735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans is a terrible babysitter. A really terrible babysitter. The kind of babysitter that causes chaos instead of stopping the children from causing it.</p><p>Frisk and Chara, strangely enough, don't mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flowers are Flammable? I Didn't Know That!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans babysits Flowey.

"I just want respect! Power! _Something,_ you know? Instead, I live as a houseplant, with idiots." Sans sighed and dropped the book on the complaining flower.

"oops. my magic failed." Flowey wiggled out from under it and growled. He righted his flower pot as Sans watched, slightly amused. Flowey hissed at him.

"You aren't even gonna help, are you? Lazy dirtbag." Sans didn't respond. Maybe he was asleep. Wouldn't have been the first time. Flowey paused for a second, then continued his speech. "Piece of trash. I'm jealous of the people who haven't met you! You continually bring everyone joy when you leave the room. And your brother's a naive idiot."

Sans opened one eye. Flowey continued going. "Yeah, if I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb to his ego and jump to his IQ." Sans sat up and grabbed Flowey around the stem before he could move, leaning in close to his face.

"listen, weed. if it was up to me, you would be dead. the kid is literally the only thing stopping me from tearing you into little bits. I promised them not to kill you, you know? but accidents happen." Sans smiled and Flowey gulped nervously.

"Uh, I didn't mean it. I was, I was joking! Ha ha!" Sans shook his head and picked up the flowerpot. Flowey panicked, shaking back and forth.

"guess what? i'm your babysitter today." Sans gave Flowey an evil grin. "I know, why don't we cook something? it'll be fun." Flowey shook hid head emphatically, but Sans happily ignored it.

He teleported. (Almost everyone hates teleporting except Sans. It makes them nauseous. But not him. Pap is okay with it, too, though irritated with his brother for being lazy.)

In the kitchen, Sans set Flowey down on the counter, turning on the stove from a distance with magic. "yeah, this is gonna be good." Flowey shrieked as his flowerpot lifted into the air and hovered above the burner.

"Sans, whatare you doing?!" He waved around. "Put me down!" Sans nodded, releasing the magic holdin Flowey above the stove. Gravity took its course.

"ok." Flowey fell toward the burner, quickly panicking. Flowers are flammable, believe it or not.

"NO NOT HERE AH HELP ME!" Right before he hit the burner, he jerked up into the air, hovering once again above the burner.

"i've got to stop promising not to kill people," Sans said thoughtfully. Flowey nodded.

"Okay, sure, do what you want, just don't kill _me._ " Sans laughed and put Flowey down on the counter.

"those two statements conflict, weed. can't I do both? it would be much easier." Sans turned off the stove and Flowey sighed, relived as all get out. "huh. babysitting you _sucks._ " Flowey shrugged(As much as he can, being a flower) and settled down in his flowerpot.

"want anything to eat? i'm sure there's something in the fridge." Flowey hissed and Sans nodded. "ok. more for me." He opened the fridge, grabbed a bag of chips, and slammed it shut. "you sure you don't want any?" Flowey shook his head.

"Nope, dirtbag. I don't want your junk food." Sans shrugged, nonplussed by the flower's jibes.

And that's when Flowey snapped. He sent several attacks zooming at the skeleton's head. Sans dodged all of them easlily. His eye lit up and he smiled.

" D O   Y O U   W A N T   T O   H A V E   A   B A D   T I M E ?"

* * *

 

"SANS! FLOWER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE RETURNED!" Papyrus threw open the door and took in the scene. Chara and Frisk wandered in next to him and Toriel gently held onto both of them.

"SANS! WHERE ARE YOU, SANS?" Sans wandered in, smiling.

"hey, bro."

"SANS, WHAT DID YOU BREAK?!" Sans shrugged.

"what did I not break?"

Papyrus surveyed the damage. The house was torn up, with bones and vines sticking out of the walls. Scorch marks covered the floor, and Flowey was nowhere in sight. Sans was hiding something behind his back, Toriel reallized, and when she looked more closely, it was a lighter.

"SANS, WHERE IS THE FLOWER?" Sans shrugged.

"I don't know, bro. maybe it went on vacation." Papyrus nodded, satisfied with this ridiculous explanation. Toriel glared at Sans, obviously not buying it.

"Someone has some explaining to do." Sans nodded.

"they sure do, Tori."

And then he teleported away.


	2. The Dunking Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans babysits Chara.

"I still don't get why I have to spend the day wit **you**  of all people" Chara moped. Sans shrugged, crinkling up his bag of chips and throwing it into the garbage. 

Chara was sick, so since Toriel had to go to work, she'd left them here at the house with Sans. Nobody was entirely sure whether Sans had a job or not.

Not even Sans himself was really convinced when he said he did.

So here he was, with Chara, babysitting again. After the experience with Flowey, he was surprised even let him babysit anymore.

Oh well. He'd cleaned up the house after that, anyway.(And by 'cleaned up the house', I mean 'watched Papyrus clean the house and proceeded to go to sleep'.)

Chara flopped backwards onto Sans's lap. "I'm bored. Can we watch a movie or something?" Sans nodded, not seeing anything wrong with that. And then he hesitated.

"hey, I think Tori left instructions. I should probably read them, shouldn't I?" He pulled them out of his pocket. And then threw them in the trash. Chara cheered.

"I've changed my mind! You are the BEST BABYSITTER EVER!" Sans shrugged and teleported them both downstairs. He let Chara choose a movie and put it on. All from the couch, with magic. Chara didn't mind. A movie was a movie, after all.

When they were pretty sure Sans was asleep, they snuck into the kitchen and grabbed the tub of ice cream from the freezer.

They ate the whole thing. (Have I mentioned Chara likes sweets?) Sans slept right through the entire movie.

When Chara got up to go get more junk food for the seventh time, Sans woke up.

"hey, kid. what're you doing over there?" He took in the sight of all the junk food wrappers and empty ice cream container.

"oh man. Tori is gonna kill me! kid, come here." Chara did, since Sans didn't sound angry. Sans set them on his lap, put on another movie, and fell asleep again. Chara was a little confused. Eventually they just shrugged it off and used Sans as a pillow.(He does make a very good pillow.)

Chara fell asleep after a while and Sans opened one eye, grinning. He picked them up carefully and teleported to the garage.

The basketball hoop hung on the wall, fifteen feet up.(With Papyrus, you need it up pretty high. Nobody bothers to bring it down.) Sans teleported up...

_Slam-Dunk!_

Chara woke up just as they fell through the hoop, giving a yell as they landed on the floor.

"Geeet Dunked on!" Chara smiled and grabbed a knife. Fighting was fun. They didn't intend to kill anyone ever again, though. Not even Sans. They were done with that.

But that didn't mean they couldn't do something fun, they reflected as Sans fired a blaster at them. Minimum damage, of course. He wasn't a killer anymore, either.

* * *

 

"SANS! YOU DIDN'T KILL THE HUMAN, DID YOU?" Papyrus wandered in, stomping his foot. "SANS! YOU AND THE HUMAN WRECKED THE HOUSE!"

And they had. Knife marks, bones, and scorches littered the walls and floor. Even a couple on the ceiling. Toriel stormed in, ready to throw fire at someone, but Chara stopped her.

"No, Mom, it's great!" They beamed. "Sans is the best babysitter EVER!"


	3. That's an Amazing Idea, Chara!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans babysits Frisk and Chara.
> 
> Undyne helps.

"SANS! TORIEL AND I ARE LEAVING NOW! YOU, UNDYNE AND THE HUMANS BEHAVE YOURSELVES!" Papyrus shouted. Toriel nodded, giving Sans a look.

It was amazing how they kept letting Sans babysit after the last two times. But this time, Toriel had demanded Undyne come over, too, and prevent any fires or slam-dunking.

Sans wasn't too worried.

Undyne immediately grabbed Sans the second they were out the door. "Hey, Sans! Where are Frisk and Chara?" Sans shrugged.

"they're most likely up in their room. let's leave them there." Undyne shook her head and lifted Sans over her head with one arm, slinging him over her shoulder. He didn't resist, only swung lazily as she charged up the stairs toward the childrens' room.

"HEY, PUNKS! GET OVER HERE!" She kicked the door to their room and it splintered. Sans would've sighed if he cared. That was the third door since the last babysitting disaster.

Chara and Frisk looked up. Frisk tapped Chara's arm and the other child nodded happily.

"Hey, Undyne! Uh, hi, Sans! What're you doing?" asked Chara. Sans nodded. Undyne threw him into the wall.

"WE ARE BABYSITTING! NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Undyne threw spears into all the walls, and Sans had to duck to avoid getting stabbed. Frisk scrambled under their bed and Chara laughed.

"What, scared?" It didn't mean mean, just friendly teasing. The other child's nonverbal response was cut off as Undyne grabbed both them, Chara, and Sans. She ran back down the stairs, vaulting the last five.

Frisk was freaked out, Chara was laughing, and Sans was... Asleep. Like normal. Chara poked him and them gave up in favor of a better activity.

"Hey, Undyne! Can Frisk and I ride a laundry basket down the stairs?" Undyne nodded, smiling crazily.

"Sure! That sound like an AMAZING idea! Why don't you go get a basket?" Chara grinned. They'd always wanted to ride one of the laundry baskets down the stairs. Frisk wasn't so sure. They gestured unhappily but Chara brushed them off.

"Oh, come on. It'll be great! You'll see." Frisk nodded and laughed and pointed to Sans. "Sans? What about him?" Frisk gestured again and Chara suddenly understood. "Oooh. That would really be awesome. Let's wake him up!"

"Hey, Sans!" Sans opened one eye and then closed it. Chara laughed. "Sans, I know you're awake. I have a question." Sans sat up.

"yeah kid? where's Undyne?" Chara shrugged.

"I have no idea where Undyne is, but Frisk and I are going to ride down the stairs in a laundry basket. Could you like, um, throw us around with blue magic or something?" Sans nodded happily.

"sure kids. that's a nice idea." Chara and Frisk cheered, climbing into the laundry basket at the top of the stairs. Sans summoned his magic, grabbing the laundry basket with it as Chara pushed off down the stairs. He pushed too, and the laundry basket clattered down the stairs at unsafe speeds.

"HECK YEAH! THAT'S AN AMAZING IDEA!" Undyne had reappeared from who knows where. The basket reached the end of the stairs and Sans launched it back up. Chara stood up, pumping their fists. Frisk pulled them back down, smiling. Sans laughed.

"you guys want it to go faster?" Chara and Frisk both yelled and nodded vigorously. Sans shrugged and increased the speed. Undyne stopped him after a few minutes.

"Hey, I've got an idea." She lifted up the basket, placing several energy spears under it. "I can summon and fire a ton of these! You can go SUPER FAST!" Sans shrugged as Chara whooped.

It worked. Sans barely had time to stop them before they crashed each time. Eventually, he stopped trying to and just let the spears ram into the wall along with the basket.

Eventually, Sans fell asleep on floor. Undyne surveyed the damage to the stairs, shrugged, and dragged him to the couch. She too fell asleep on the couch, next to him with her legs over his lap. Chara and Frisk eventually fell asleep near them. Frisk snuggled next to Undyne. Chara wiggled into Sans's hoodie, falling asleep there.

No one had bothered to clean up the stairs. Or figure out what Undyne had been doing.

* * *

"SANS AND UNDYNE! WAKE UP NOW!" Undyne jerked awake, knocking Frisk off the couch. Sans continued to sleep. Toriel was standing over them, seemingly very angry.

"Where is my child?" Undyne looked confused. Toriel narrowed her eyes. "Where is Chara. Tell me now."  Undyne shrugged angrily.

"I have no idea! That was Sans's job." Toriel facepalmed.

"Dear lord. I hope Chara isn't dead or something." Sans rolled over, snoring. Toriel slapped his face and he jerked awake. "Sans, where is Chara?" she hissed. Sans shrugged.

"I have no idea, Tori. where's Chara, Undyne?" Undyne shook her head angrily.

"I have no idea! That's why she ASKED you! She's already asked me!" Sans shrugged.

"sorry, Tori. it looks like I lost your kid." Toriel growled and poked Sans in the face. He didn't respond at all.

Chara, in Sans's hoodie, was still asleep. Sans hadn't noticed them in there yet, and neither had anyone else. Frisk woke up on the floor, confused to see Toriel poking Sans.

"WHERE IS CHARA!" Frisk tapped Toriel. She turned. "Not now, child." Frisk sighed and walked over to Sans. Toriel picked them up. "Not _now,_ Frisk. I'm trying to figure out where Chara is." Frisk giggled.

"Wait. Do _you_ know where Chara is?" Frisk nodded, climbing out of Toriel's arms and skipping over to Sans on the couch. He made a surprised sound as Frisk started to unzip his jacket.

"what is it, kid? um, what are you doing?" Frisk unzipped the hoodie all the way, revealing Chara snuggled up against Sans's side. Sans laughed and Toriel breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, Sans. I was panicked and..." Toriel trailed off and Sans nodded.

"it's ok." Toriel smiled, walking toward the stairs.

"Well, it looks like I owe you an appolog-" she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around.

"Sans and Undye. What. The hell. Did you do. To the stairs." Sans looked away and Undyne chose that time to go temporarily deaf. Chara jumped up, smiling.

"Mom, Sans and Undyne let us go down the stairs in a laundry basket! It was great! Sans even threw us around with magic!" Toriel started laughing hysterically.

"um, Undyne, I think we should go." Undyne nodded. Sans grabbed her arm and teleported as Toriel lunged for them, barely missing them.

"SANS WHEREVER YOU ARE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU. GO TO HELL!"

But Sans was gone.

 


	4. Bring the Kids To Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans brings Chara and Frisk to work with him at the hotdog stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how nobody except Sans knows what happened with Flowey, or really cares.

"hey, kid!" Frisk looked up. "Chara is coming to work with me today. wanna come with?" Frisk smiled and nodded. Sans picked them up and they giggled. He shook his head. 

"Okay Sans! I'm ready to go!" Chara ran in, skidding to a halt. Sans picked them up, too. They poked Frisk in the belly and the other child jerked away, laughing. Sans shrugged and used a shortcut.

Setting Chara down on the counter, Sans handed Frisk a hot dog. Chara pouted. "I want one, too." Sans nodded seriously, handing them a hot dog too. And then another one.

"Sans, I just wanted one hot dog!" They laughed. Sans shook his head.

"nope, you said you wanted a hotdog TWO." Chara thought for a second then burst out laughing, falling off the counter. Frisk groaned, but was also smiling at the horrible joke.

"so anyway, seriously. will you guys help me run the booth?" Frisk nodded. Chara nodded, too. "kay, good." Sans handed Chara a bottle of mustard and Frisk a bag of hotdogs. Chara proceeded to squirt the mustard all over the bag. Sans nodded approvingly, uncapping a bottle of ketchup and drinking it.

"yeah, that seems about right." Frisk, not wanting to be left out, shook the bag vigorously. Now both children were covered in mustard. Sans grabbed another bottle of ketchup. "here, pour this in there." Chara nodded and did.

"This is great, Sans!" They motioned to Frisk, who shook the bag around more, and then tapped Sans. Sans took the bag, and stuffing it under the counter, looked back to the children.

"okay, now we have to sell the hotdogs." Chara nodded. "go find some customers." Frisk passed Chara some coins and Chara handed them to Sans, who handed Frisk a dripping hotdog from the bag.

"um, ok. that's one." Sans nodded approvingly. "you guys are good at this." He opened another bottle of ketchup and started drinking it, then stopped. "want any?" He offered the bottle to Frisk, who shook their head, and then to Chara, who accepted it and proceeded to drink the rest of the ketchup happily.

"ketchup is awesome." Sans opened the back. "I have more back here." Chara laughed.

"Sans, where do you get all this ketchup? You're so weird." Sans didn't answer, apparently not having heard. Chara shook their head. "You know what? I take it back. I don't really want to know." Sans nodded.

Frisk snuck another hotdog while nobody was looking. Several people came up to the stand and bought hotdogs. They all seemed nonplussed by the mess all over the stand. Apparently, everyone was used to Sans's weirdness. Chara and Sans continued to drink ketchup while Frisk pretended to puke.

"Hello? I'd like a hotdog," said someone waiting at the stand. Sans came up from under the counter and the dude did a double take. Chara squirted ketchup i to their mouth and the guy shook his head, mumbling something about 'monsters and the like'. Sans smiled.

"excuse me? what did you say?" The man mumbled something else but shook his head.

"I didn't say anything. May I ask, why is that human child drinking ketchup? That's bad for them, you know." Chara stuck out their tongue at him. "Well, I never! Sir, your child is being rude. Can't you keave her at home next time?"

Everyone went quiet. Chara grinned. Sans nodded at them.

"First of all, I am only responding in kind. Second of all, I qualify as nonbinary. I have no gender." The man snorted and wandered off. Chara threw a bottle of ketchup after his retreating head.

_Splat._

* * *

The police were irritated, but once Sans explained the situation, they just shrugged and let him be. 

Until the booth lit on fire.

That was Frisk. They'd found a lighter and had been playing with it for a while. The flame burned them, and they'd dropped the lighter onto the wooden stand.

Both children were slightly singed, but otherwise okay. Sans was too. He congratulated them both on their amazing job at making hotdogs, and then brought them home to an irritated Toriel.

Well, at least they hadn't wrecked the house this time. That was a plus.

 


	5. The Living Room Must Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Papyrus babysit Frisk.

"WAKE UP, LAZYBONES! WE'RE BABYSITTING FRISK!" Papyrus grabbed Sans, who was sleeping, and dragged him off the couch. Sans ignored the fact that he was upside down in the air and continued to sleep. Papyrus groaned and put him back down.

"WELL, IF YOU WON'T BABYSIT, I WILL JUST DO IT ALONE!" Papyrus laughed. "FRISK! WE WILL DO PUZZLES AND MAKE SPAGHETTI! AND VISIT UNDYNE, WHO ISN'T ALLOWED TO BABYSIT ANYMORE!"

"well, bro if it comes to that, I'd better wake up and save the kid." Papyrus laughed triumphantly and Frisk giggled.

"NYEH HEH HEH! I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MY ENDEAVOR OF WAKING YOU UP!" Sans groaned and stood up.

"well, let's go watch a movie." Papyrus nodded, picking up Frisk and racing to the living room. Sans took a shortcut, arriving before Papyrus.

"OOH! CAN I PICK THE MOVIE?!" Sans nodded, glancing at Frisk, who seemed okay with that. He watched as Papyrus picked out the same movie he always did; The movie version of 'Peekaboo with Fluffy Bunny'. Sans and Frisk had both seen it many, many times. 

"cool. I'll go get some snacks." Sans wandered into the kitchen, ignoring Papyrus's grumbling. He opened the fridge, scooping out several bags of chips and a box of ice cream. He returned and Papyrus's eyes bugged out.

"SANS! YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY EAT ALL THAT JUNK FOOD IN ONE DAY!" Sans shrugged and opened a bag of chips.

"wanna bet on that? I'll give you a bag of chips." Papyrus screeched. Frisk laughed and grabbed a handful of chips. "SANS! LOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU'VE CORRUPTED THE CHILD!" Sans shrugged.

"I think they were already that way, Papyrus." Frisk nodded and poked Papyrus in the side. It devolved into a wrestling match, which Sans quickly extricated himself from, instead eating more junk food.

"NYEH HEH HEH! THE HUMAN HAS BESTED ME!" Frisk was sitting on Papyrus's head. Sans snorted. Frisk climbed off Papyrus into his lap, and silently asked for more chips. Sans handed them the bag. Papyrus hissed.

"SANS, YOU STILL HAVEN'T PICKED UP THE SOCK! PICK UP YOUR SOCK, RIGHT NOW!" Sans nodded.

"ok." He picked up the sock and then dropped it. Papyrus stomped his foot, making Frisk jump.

"DON'T JUST DROP IT, MOVE IT!" Sans shook his head. Frisk took the chance to grab some ice cream and start eating it quickly.

"ok." Sans picked up the sock, moved it two inches, and then dropped it. Papyrus screeched loudly. Frisk slipped into the kitchen.

"SANS! MOVE THE SOCK INTO YOUR ROOM!" Sans picked up the sock, moved it to his door, and dropped it. Papyrus looked like he was going to explode.

Frisk, in the kitchen, jumped onto the counter, grabbed the pie Toriel had made for later, and started stuffing their face.

"SANS! MOVE THE SOCK INTO YOUR ROOM, AND LEAVE IT THERE!" Papyrus yelled. Sans nodded, chucking the sock into his door and leaving it there. Papyrus screamed angrily.

Frisk, being done with the pie, stood up on the counter and opened the cupboard. They opened the cookie jar, grabbing a giant fistful.

Papyrus didn't speak, just screqmed unintelligibly. Several attacks manifested and Sans dodged them all, returning fire lazily.

Frisk jumped at the noise, but they shrugged and ate all the cookies anyway. It would be blamed on Sans, anyway.

Sans and Papyrus were busy tearing the living room apart. Papyrus used his really cool regulat attack, and Sans fired a blaster. Papyrus screeched.

"SANS, WHAT WAS THAT?! I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE, TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT!" All anger forgotten, he stopped firing bones into random places of the room. Sans nodded.

"okay, I'll show you. like this..."

Frisk jumped at the loud blaster sound from the living room. They jumped down from the counter and opened the fridge, grabbing all the iced cream and other junk food. They arranged it around them and started eaiting it.

Sans and Papyrus fired multiple blasters. Papyrus had finally figured out how, and was going to town on the couch. Sans was sleeping on the floor.

Frisk continued to eat all the junk food, and nobody bothered to look for them. Papyrus was too excited, and Sans was asleep. Frisk smiled, knowig Toriel would blame Sans and not them. He was usually the one who did that, or Chara, but not them.

* * *

"Sans. You better not have wrecked-" Toriel stopped short, seeing the living room shredded and covered in bones and scorch marks. "Sans. I will _kill_ you." Sans shook his head and Papyrus stepped forward proudly.

"IT WAS ME, TORIEL! SANS TAUGHT ME HIS REALLY COOL ATTACK AND I PRACTICED IT!" Toriel sighed.

"Papyrus, you know better than to practice attacks inside. Now clean up. And where's Frisk?" Sans nodded.

"Frisk? they're in the kitchen, eating all the junk food." Toriel facepalmed.

"Sans, you let my child eat all the junk food in the house, didn't you?" He nodded proudly and Papyrus groaned.

"well, not all of it. I had some." Toriel walked out to stop herself from strangling Sans. She found Frisk in the kitchen, pigging out on ice cream. They looked up, surprised.

"My child, why would you do that? No pie for you later." Frisk looked uncomfortable.

"Wait. You didn't eat THAT, too, did you?"

Frisk nodded.

Toriel ran off to find Sans, who had, as expected, disappeared.

 


	6. Shut UP, You Idiotic Microwave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Mettaton babysit Frisk, Chara, and Monster Kid.

"Oh, darling! There you are!" Sans groaned as Mettaton sashayed into the house. Mettaton looked offended. "Sans, don't be rude. I'm here to babysit." Chara stuck out their tongue and Frisk slapped them. MK just giggled and poked Chara.

"okay, Mettaton. Toriel no longer trusts me with babysitting. all things considered, that should have happened a long time ago. so you're here." Mettaton nodded, striking a pose.

"That seems about right, darling. I'm here to babysit you, as well." Sans snorted.

"I don't think I need babysitting, microwave. so don't try it." Mettaton rolled his eyes and flopped down dramatically on a chair. Sans groaned. "next I know, she'll have GASTER babysitting me and the kids." About two months ago, he'd just randomly shown up. He wasn't always there, and he never would answer questions as to where he went.

Everyone knew him as the scary former Royal Scientist, and for the fact that he was supposed to be dead. He actually seemed pretty scary and fierce. However, Gaster had always been a pushover when it came to children. Or his family. So if Toriel, not knowing this, had him babysit, she would come home to find the children and Sans doing whatever they wanted(probably destructive) with Gaster running around panicking.

Not altogether what Sans wanted. He didn't want to embarass his father, that would be cruel. Gaster was strange. He probably wouldn't take it very well.

"Sans, darling, please wake up!" Mettaton tapped him and Sans growled. Mettaton quickly drew back his hand before Sans could bite him. Probably a good idea, seeing as that's exactly what Sans tried to do. Mettaton frowned. "Sans, you are being very childish and lazy."

"and you hit on my little brother," Sans retorted. Mettaton looked shoked, drawing back quickly. "you think I don't know all about that? well, I do. Pap is pretty much incapable of keeping secrets. you should know that." Mettaton blushed, trying to hide his embarassment.

"Oh... Darlings, why son't we do something else? Let's make a cake!" Frisk shrank away nervously and Chara reached for a knife. Mettaton laughed. "Not that kind of cake, darlings. No human soul. Or substitution." Both kids rlaxed.

"Frisk and MK, why don't you get the ingredients? Good children. Chara, why don't you preheat the oven? I have instructions right here. Sans why don't you... No, forget it." Chara happily skipped over to the oven, but Sans stopped them hurriedly

"I'll do it. you two burned down the hotdog stand, remember? we don't want a repeat of that." Chara frowned.

"Sans, I won't burn the house down. Please?" Sans laughed and shook his head, grabbing the knife away from the child and doing the oven himself. Mettaton frowned. Sans glared. Chara took the knife back and waved it around.

"Sans. Come on, Sans. You're usually such a _wonderful_ babysitter. What happened?" Mettaton snorted and Chara ignored him. "You usually don't mind us causing mass hysteria. Is it because of Mettaton? Oh, you want to prove you're better than him, don't you?" Sans shook his head noncommitally.

"kid, let's go get some ice cream! Frisk? MK? you coming?" Sans did not invite Mettaton, but he nodded anyway. "great. microwave, you stay here with the cooking." Mettaton started to protest but stopped.

Chara stopped Sans in the doorway. "Sans... I haven't seen Flowey in a while. What happened to him?" Sans just smiled and moved them out of the way.

"c'mon, kid. let's go." Sans took a shortcut to the park with the three others. Frisk tapped him on the shoulder and gestured to Chara. 

"Frisk wants to know, too. Where the heck is Flowey?" Sans shrugged and bought them all icecream. Casually leaning away from Frisk, towards Chara, he told them the plan.

"okay, kid. I don't like that idiot. the glittery microwave. you don't either, do you? well, when we get back, just do what you're best at. cause chaos. raise hell in the living room. heck, go to town on the couch with that knife of yours. did you think I didn't notice that?"

Chara nodded, smiling. "Don't tell Frisk. They actually _like_ that trashy idiot. I'm in, Sans." Sans nodded. "Can I have the lighter?"

"no."

* * *

"Yo! We're back! MK wandered in trough the door, following Frisk. Chara hung back, next to Sans. Both of them seemed happy, so Mettaton just let it go.

"Oh, darlings! There you are! It's good to see you! Papyrus got here a bit earlier, and he wanted to know where you went. Something about fire and Sans being his typical irresponsible self." Sans nodded.

"we're good." This was not part of the plan. Papyrus wasn't supposed to be there. Oh well. Sans nodded to Chara who slipped into the kitchen.

"Now, Sans. Can you please at least _try_ to be a little nicer? I know you don't think I'm right for Papyrus, but you don't have to torment me at every opportunity you get." Sans shrugged.

"ok." Sans wasn't really listening, as evidenced by the fact he was busily chowing down on a bag of potato chips. Loudly.

Mettaton frowned. "Something is off. I can't quite tell what it is, but something's wrong." He turned around. "Sans? Where's Chara?" Sans shrugged.

"heck if I know." Mettaton growled.

"You! Are so unhelpful!" He shoved Sans to the side and wandered out into the living room. Sans followed, still noisily eating chips. Papyrus looked up from his puzzle book.

"OH, HELLO METTATON! THERE YOU ARE, SANS! I HOPE YOU HAVE NOT BEEN A VERY BAD BABYSITTER THIS TIME!"

 Sans nodded. "don't worry. the kids are being good." He wondered where the heck Chara had gotten off to. And then he stopped wondering as Mettaton's freshly baked cake flew across the room and hit Papyeus in the face.

"ACK, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" Chara, Sans noticed, had found the lighter. They smiled and ignited the couch and their knife, waving the latter around frantically and screaming. Mettaron watched in silence while Papyrus ran straight into Sans, knocking him over.

Chara laughed and stabbed the wall, cutting from corner to corner. Frisk started crying and Sans grabbed them. MK ran around, panicked. Papyrus ran into Chara and both of them fell over.

"SANS! I CANNOT SEE, SANS! WHAT IS GOING ON?" Sans ignored his brother, instead offering Frisk a potato chip. Frisk accepted the chip, watching the carnage.

"Chara is pretty good at causing havoc, huh? better than even me or my bro. they're pretty good." Frisk nodded and stopped crying. "they're putting that damn refridgerator in his place, aren't they?" And indeed they were. The corner of the room was on fire, Papyrus was wrestling with the annoying dog for his special attack(the dog was winning!), and Chara was busily stabbing holes in the ceiling.

Mettaton was in the corner, standing very still. Unnaturally still. Frisk wandered over. Taking a look, they glared at Sans.

"waht? I couldn't possibly have switched him off from here." Frisk shook their head. "what? you disagree? well, it wasn't me." In truth, it wasn't him. It was just a happy accident.

* * *

"Sans! Mettaton! I'm home!" Toriel opened the door, walking in onto a scene of carnage. Bits of the couch were strewn across the blackened room. The walls were shredded, with insulation seeping out onto the floor. Mettaton sat motionless in the corner with Papyrus slumped over him, unconscious. Frisk lay asleep on the couch with MK.

Sans and Chara, the perpetrators of the disaster, sat calmly in the corner, eating potato chips. Toriel ran straight for Sans, but he disappeared again.

"Oh hey, Mom! We had fun." Toriel stared, speechless, at the ruined room.

"I can tell, my child."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, because people are asking, we have the revelation of what happened to Flowey. Stay tuned, I'll most likely have it done by the end of the week.


	7. Return of the Homicidal Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Brief) Return of Flowey the Flower. Finally, some plot development. Believe it or not, this does have a plot.

"Sans, what happened to Flowey?" Chara was sitting on Sans's lap, staring up at him with their red eyes. Sans winked back at them. "No, seriously. I want to know what happened to Flowey. I won't tell Mom if you killed him, you know. Sans nodded. "Frisk is out shopping with Mom and Papyrus, they don't have to know about whatever happened."

"eh. it doesn't really matter. does it?" Chara nodded, staring intently at the skeleton. "fine. i'll show you." Chara, confused but excited, followed Sans into his room. The skeleton's room was a mess, covered in dirty laundry, empty snack wrappers and bags of chips. His bed was unmade, and his dresser's drawers all hung open. Except for one.

Muffled thumping came from the closed dresser drawer. Chara raised an eyebrow, looking expectantly toward Sans, who shrugged. "go on then, open it. he's your brother. i'm not _kid_ ding you. heh." Chara glared at the skeleton, and then opened the drawer. Flowey came shrieking out of it, covered in shredded pieces of Sans's socks.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Chara reached out to catch the flower, but Flowey bit their finger and latched onto it. Chara swore loudly, shaking their hand around and trying to shake loose the flower. To no avail. Flowey's teeth were clamped tightly on Chara's finger.

"Sans! Sans get him OFF!" Sans shrugged, watching the proceedings lazily and not making any move to help either Chara or Flowey. Suddenly, several bullets materialized in the air around Chara. Flowey, from where he was, hissed loudly and directed the bullets straight toward Chara's face. They all hit, seeing as the child was preoccupied with the biting flower on their hand.

"OW!" Before Chara could say anything else, more bullets shot toward their chest- All hitting them. Chara collapsed on the ground, their SOUL appearing in front of them. Sans looked up, eye lighting up with blue magic as he and Flowey both lunged toward the human's SOUL.

Sans got there first, grabbing the pulsating red SOUL and pulling it away from the homicidal flower from Hell. The red heart pulsated and jittered in his hand, and he sighed in relief. It wasn't shattering into pieces, that was good.

"oh, good. kid's soul is okay. we can work with this." Suddenly, the heart flashed bright crimson as a vine wrapped around it. Flowey cackled maniacally, pulling the vine back toward him and anchoring into the floorboards with his roots.

"HAH! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I WILL BECOME GOD! I WILL KILL YOU ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sans looked down at the heart, then at the crumpled body, then at the insane flower. He sighed, reallizing he couldn't win this tug of war.

"sorry, kiddo. extreme circumstances. we'll just wait for frisk and rest, i guess." Flowey's eyes widened as Sans simultaneously curled his fingers around the red SOUL and fired a gasterblaster straight at Flowey, who loosened his hold on the red heart to block the beam of energy.

"NO, SMILEY TRASHBAG! YOU WOULD NEVER-" Sans ripped the human soul away as Flowey screeched loudly and waved his vines around in anger. Sans absorbed the red SOUL, flipping off the flower as both his eyes lit up blue and red. "NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!"

Sans waved his hand and a ring of gasterblasters appeared around Flowey, all firing at the same time. The flower was reduced to several smoking petals. Sans nodded his head, surveying the smoking pile of ashes on the charred floor. Then closed his eyes.

{Sans?! What happened!? This is so weird. Am I dead again? Flowey fired friendliness pellets at me, and I don't have any LOVE and wait, did he kill you too oh my god I'm so-}

( **kid, chill out. i'm not dead, although you kind of are. i um, kind of took your soul before the flower could. so yeah, we kind of have to wait until frisk gets back to that they can reset for us.** )

{SANS, YOU IDIOT! FRISK CAN'T RESET ANYMORE, IT WAS THE HUGE AMOUNT OF MAGIC IN THE UNDERGROUND THAT ALLOWED THE RESET TO _EXIST_ IN THE FIRST PLACE!}

The skeleton's eyes opened and he groaned.

( **well then, i messed up pretty badly. this is a mess. i should have just left the stupid flower in the sock drawer until he died or something.**   **it's all my fault, kiddo.** )

{No, you did the best you could given the situation. If it's between you getting my SOUL or that homicidal mockery of my brother... Well, at least you won't kill everyone.}

Sans felt Chara's thoughts shift as they realized how hypocritical this was. They, too, had killed everyone at one point. Sans had yet to completely forgive them, but he understood that creatures with no SOUL could not feel. So when Chara regained a SOUL, they were sorry for everythig they'd done.

( **welp, this is going to be hard to explain to tori.** )

{Oh, god no.}

* * *

"Sans! Chara! We're home! Sans? Chara? Where _are_ you?" Toriel was ready for anything, or so she thought. Anything _but_ what greeted her upstairs when she went looking.

Sans, lying on his bed, asleep. Chara, lying motionless on the floor without any obvious signs of life. Their skin was pale, there were cuts on their face, and they weren't breathing. A giant scorch mark on the floor wit several smoking petals lying in the center of it.

Toriel rushed over to Chara, shoving Frisk out of the room and shutting the door. Picking up the body, she surmised that the child was dead. Starting to cry, she tried to lift their SOUL out of their chest and keep it safe, if it wasn't already shattered.

It wasn't there.

Toriel broke down sobbing, pressing Chara to her body and hugging the lifeless shell. Sans snored loudly and she looked up, eyes narrowed in hatred. _He'd done this. He killed her child and let their SOUL fade._

She dropped the body and grabbed the small skeleton by the skull, wrenching him off the bed and slamming him against the wall. He woke up with a start, both eyes flying open. Both of them glowed different colors- One red, one his natural blue. Toriel glared at him, making him flinch.

"um, hi, tori. it's not what you think." Toriel summoned a fireball in one hand and smashed it into his face. It should have dusted him, a good hit like that. He only had one HP, after all, despite all his magical ability.

But it didn't dust him. It sin't

Toriel blinked in surprise and checked his stats, unknowing of what had happened while she was gone. His stats were... Impossible, to say the least.

***Sans**

***Giver of bad times**

**500 ATK 5 DEF**

**HP 910/1000**

**LV 1**

Sans smiled awkwardly, summoning his SOUL. Well, SOULS. Toriel stared at the red human SOUL side by side with the grey monster SOUL. She blinked, glaring at Sans again.

"You... Took my child's SOUL. Explain." She raised her fist again and Sans nodded quickly, raising his hands in surrender. Toriel glared, unimpressed and unconvinced. Behind her, Frisk edged into the room, eyes going wide at the sight of Sans and the souls.

"uh, well, chara wanted to know what happened to flowey, so-"

"-he took me upstairs and let flowey out if sock drawer, but he flew out-"

"-bit the kid's finger and while i teied to figure out what was going on, he-"

"-shot bullets into my face and drained all my hp. he tried to-"

"-take the kid's soul but i got there first and-"

"-he took my soul before flowey could and-"

"-i blasted the flower into dust assuming frisk could-"

"-reset, but they can't do that anymore and neither can i and-"

" **now we're both stuck like this.** "

Toriel shook her head, unable to process all the weirdness that was the current situation. Frisk ran out of the room quietly for some unknown purpose. Toriel didn't notice, but Sans and Chara did. They winked at the pacifist child. Toriel followed the look, but Frisk was already gone.

"Okay. Sans, you're _still_ in trouble. But I have yet to think of a way to punish you that won't punish Chara, too. Don't think you're off the hook quite yet. But for now? We will continue as usual and try to figure out this situation. Now, Sans? I assume I am speaking to Sans."

Sans nodded.

"May I speak to my child? Is that possible? I would like to hear their version of the story." Sans nodded. That sounded reasonable.

( **okay, kid. tori wants to talk to you.** )

{Oh my God. She's going to kill us. She seemed ready to, earlier.}

( **yeah. she really cares about you, kiddo.** )

{...}

And with that, Sans let Chara have control of his body and retreated to think about the situarion and all the ways Toriel might punish him for it. She seemed to be blaming him, which was actually okay with him, seeing as he had made the decision that caused the problem.

Heck, the whole situation was a mess. At least there was no more homicidal flower to worry about. He wondered if Toriel would still let him eat lots of junk food, or if she would hold him to the same junk food restrictions she did her children. He hoped she would let him eat junk food. Sans loved junk food.

{Sans! Earth to Sans!}

( **yeah, kid?** )

{Mom says that we should explain to everyone else, since we have to-}

Just then, Frisk ran in with a bar of chocolate and a bag of chips and offered them to Sans. Toriel froze, unsure of what to say to her child.

[ _I already know what happened Mom,_ ] they signed. [ _I snuck into the room._ ] Toriel sighed. "My child, you shouldn't have done that." While she was talking to Frisk, Sans/Chara snatched the junk food and stuffed the chocolate into their mouth. Sans loudly opened the bag of chips and Toriel glared at him. He shrugged, stuffing chips into his face.

{Sans, why can't you just eat like a notmal person? You're getting chip dust all over your shirt.}

( **whatever. why do you have a fascination with knives, or like chocolate so much?** )

That shut Chara up. Sans shrugged, not listening to Toriel's lecture. Life would go on, they would get it figured out.

And in the meantime, Chara could help babysit.

{Oh, yeah. This is going to be _cool._ }

Not the words Sans would have used, but maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans you messed up.
> 
> By the way, thank you for all the kudos and comments ^^  
> I really appreciate the feedback. Also, I'm setting up a vote for which character should help Sans and Chara babysit in the next one. The choices are:
> 
> • Asgore  
> • Alphys  
> • Muffet  
> • Annoying Dog
> 
> I'll still write more chapters in the meantime, but the voting closes on June 10th.


	8. Spaghetti Crackers and Demonic Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Chara babysit Frisk. Papyrus helps. Or well, they're also babysitting him too now. Gaster makes an appearance.
> 
>  
> 
> And tries to resurrect Flowey.

"SANS AND CHARA! COME HERE, I HAVE CHIPS, CHOCOLATE, AND KETCHUP!" Sans looked up from his bowl of cold spaghetti. Looking to the kitchen and back to the inedible spaghetti, he made up his mind very quickly.

{I'm in if you are.}

( **ok.** )

"we're coming pap," he called back to the skeleton in the kitchen. Papyrus smiled to himself. Sans and Chara seemed to be adapting well to sharing a body, despite the occasional disputes over whether Sans was allowed to drink ketchup or not, or whether Chara should be allowed to have their knife in their jacket pocket because _technically it was Sans who had the knife._

The answers were yes to the first, no to the second. Sans was no longer allowed around potential weapons, which was fine with him. Not with Chara however, who was very irritated about the lack of sharp or flaming objects available.

Sans was also still adjusting to the new stats, however. He'd lived his life as the weakest, at one HP. And now? He had 1,000. He no longer needed to be careful. He no longer needed to avoid dangerous situations. He didn't have a high amount of HP for a boss monster, but he had a huge amount for a non boss monster. It was still new to him, along with the new ATK and DEF values.

Chara, however, just didn't care about those. Humans were more durable than monsters, even if they had less HP, so Chara had never had to be careful like Sans had. Or, well, Sans had been supposed to be careful. He generally wasn't _too_ careful, but he was mindful of dangers.

And now, neither of them had to be. Sans thought about all this as he took a shortcut to the kitchen, climbing out of the dishwasher and surprising Papyrus, who dropped the pan he had been holding-- onto Sans's head. Mentally, Chara laughed at Sans's foolishness.

( **shut up, you.** )

{Fine, clumsy  _bone bag_ }

( **you forget we share a body now, so if i'm a 'clumsy bone bag', so are you.** )

That did _not_  shut Chara up. It usually did, but this time it didn't. Papyrus, bending over to pick up the pan, let them know how foolish they were being. Sans nodded, more interested in Chara's mental tirade about how bad they were going to hurt him when they regained their own body than Papyrus's lecture.

"ARE YOU TWO LISTENING? I HAVE CHOCOLATE AND KETCHUP." Chara stopped the tirade and Sans looked up. "HA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE GOTTEN YOUR ATTENTION! NYEH HEH HEH!"

With a final {I'm going to hurt you _so bad,_ } Chara lapsed into silence. Sans nodded and accepted the snacks.

"thanks, pap. that's nice of you to give us snacks. i know you don't like junk food like i do." Papyrus looked at them oddly.

"SANS? AM I TALKING TO SANS OR CHARA? HELLO?" Sans laughed, standing up. Chara seemed amused, too.

"sans." Papyeus nodded, satisfied with the answer given. Sans looked up. "hey, isn't tori going out today? you're babysitting, aren't you?" Papyrus nodded proudly, puffing out his chest and steiking a pose.

"YES, I AM BABYSITTING YOU TWO AND FRISK! UNDYNE AND ALPHYS ARE COMING OVER TO HELP!" Sans shrugged. That was okay with him. 

( **how about you, kid? what do you think?** )

{At least it's not Mettaton.}

Well, that was one thing they agreed upon. Both of them had an immense dislike for the dramatic robot. Papyrus wasn't done, though. "AND SANS? OUR FATHER IS COMING OVER, TOO. BEHAVE YOURSELVES."

( _oh._ )

( **oh no.** )

{Ha, well, this is embarassing for you.}

( **shut up about it, kid.** )

{What're you gonna do, give me a _bad time?_ You can't hurt me without also hurting yourself, bone bag.}

( **i'm warning you, shut** _up._ )

Chara laughed and went quiet. Sans nodded. Papyrus looked at him expectantly. "WELL, BROTHER? AND SORT OF HUMAN? WHAT DO YOU SAY?" They were both confused.

"wait, pap.... what did you say again?" Papyrus frowned, irritated that neither of them had been listening to him.

"I SAID, DO YOU TWO WANT TO HELP ALPHYS, UNDYNE, AND I MAKE SPAGHETTI CRACKERS?" Sans winced. Papyrus's spaghetti crackers were awful.

{They're a crime against pasta.}

( **i have to agree with you there. let's see if we can help him make them edible.** )

* * *

                                                    -AN HOUR LATER-

"NGAAAAH! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!" Chara wiped a smear of tomato off Sans's skull. They were in control at the moment, the skeleton having decided he'd had enough of cooking and wanted to sleep. So, he was doing the mental equivalent of sleeping while Chara steered.

"papyrus, i don't think that's a good idea. no more arsenic. idiot." Papyrus looked at them strangely. He could tell it was Chara in control, he just seemed confused about _why._

"HUMAN, WHAT IS MY BROTHER DOING?"

"sans is taking the soul equivalent of a nap," they said, sighing. Frisk wandered up and poked them in the side. "stop it frisk! go away!" They noticed the uncapped pepper shaker. "no, don't-" But the child had no intentions of obeying, instead taking the entire shaker of pepper and dumping it into the spaghetti bowl.

Undyne cheered. Papyrus 'NYEH HEH HEH'd. Chara skullpalmed. Sans... Well, Sans's consciousness was still happily asleep. It took all Chara's willpower not to angrily 'wake him up'. With a frying pan. To their shared skull.

But that would require too much explanation, and Chara just didn't feel like explaining.

Undyne started to turn the stove on, but Chara quickly took the dial from her. "here, i'll do it for you. don't want to burn the house down, do we?" Hearing Chara's sarcastic tone of voice coming from Sans unsettled everyone. It was just _creepy._

 Chara shook their head. Maybe Sans had the right idea, going to sleep. "you know what? i'm going to go take a nap," they said.

"ARE MY BROTHER'S HABITS RUBBING OFF ON YOU, HUMAN?" Chara shook their head, ignoring him. They _hated_ being Sans. Being Sans was so much different than being Chara. Sans was bigger and taller. Not to mention a skeleton. Chara collapsed on the couch and went to sleep, not caring whether Undyne burned the house down or not.

* * *

"SANS? SANS, WAKE UP!" Sans groaned, sitting up. Chara's annoyed thoughts reached him and he shut them out, ignoring the human completely. He'd have to remember he could do that. "SANS, NOW THAT YOU ARE AWAKE, OUR FATHER IS HERE!" Sans stiffened as his father, W.D Gaster, former Royal Scientist, appeared behind him. Alphys shrieked.

[Hello, Sans. How are you? I understand from Papyrus and Frisk here that you...] Gaster's hands fell to his sides. There really was no good way to say that.

Sans nodded. "yep, i borrowed the human's soul. now we just have to figure out how to get it back in them. they say you're an ugly old fart, by the way. thought you might want to know." That was, indeed, what Chara was saying.

[Charming. I must admit, I haven't met most of your friends here. They seem... Nice.] He jumped as Undyne shifted grumpily on her chair, staring daggers at the skeleton with the cracked face. Sans chuckled. [Your friend Undyne is rather... Enthusiastic. I had to stop her from burning the house down when I walked in on them cooking.]

"yep, seems about right. have you tried the spaghetti crackers?" Gaster nodded, grimacing. "hey... where did frisk go?" Sans looked around. Frisk wasn't there. Undyne, Alphys, and Gaster shrugged.

[I do not know where the human child has gotten off to.]

"Yeah, where's that little punk go? And Sans, what's your old man saying? I can't read hands."

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES NOT KNOW WHERE THE HUMAN IS, BROTHER."

"I-I-I don't really, um, know, either."

Sans groaned. "just what we need. the kid running off and getting us into trouble." Gaster nodded. "hey, frisk! where'd you go?" he yelled. No answer. He sighed. "i guess we should go look for them, then."

[Agreed.] The short skeleton turned to the group. "what g is saying is that he loves you guys, you are amazing at cooking safety, and the spaghetti crackers are great. and that we should look for frisk." Gaster glared at Sans, who winked.

[That is certainly NOT what I said!] Sans shrugged, taking a shortcut to Frisk's room. Chara offered no helpful information, instead proceeding to insult everyone, so he ignored them completely.

 "frisk... where are you?" No answer. The phone rang. Undyne shouted. Gaster appeared next to Sans, Frisk is his arms. Sans jumped, tripping on the rug and falling over.

[I found the missing human, Sans.] Sans nodded, standing up and dusting himself off. Completely ignoring the stream of insults and swearing from Chara in his head.

Frisk smiled mischeviously. Sans narrowed his eye sockets. "hey g, what does the kiddo have in their hand the-"

BOOM. Loud explosions wracked the house, Frisk's expression changing to one of shock. They obviously hadn't expected this, either. Gaster skullpalmed, quickly signing something about 'DT levels being unstable'. It wasn't because of them. "g? what's going on? what happened? dad, _what did you do?"_

[Ah, well, when Alphys and I heard what had transpired with the sentient flower, we set about.... Well, bringing him back to life. While you were asleep and Pap and Undyne were cooking, if you can call it that. Obviously, something went wrong." Sans gritted his teeth, shutting out Chara's thoughts and teleporting downstairs.

"oh _shit."_ The enormous flower towered over everyone, and had already bashed through the basement floor. Papyrus was madly dancing away from its attacks as Undyne threw spears at it, to no avail. Alphys cowered in the corner. "g, what the hell?" Gaster shrugged helplessly, eyes lighting up purple.

[We should probably un-resurrect him, I guess.] Sans shook his head. "nah, just let him waste all his determination. he can't keep that form for too long." Gaster nodded, running toward the action.

-Several minutes and hundreds of attacks later-

 

"I... HATE... you... All..." Sans picked up the flower, slam dunking him into the trash bin. 

"bad flower."

{Ha! That shows him!}

( **shut up** )

[Hey... Where's Frisk?]

( **oh no...** )

* * *

"Okay, so who's dead this time?" Toriel opened the door, surprised to find everyone alive, well, and only slightly singed. Sans, Frisk, Gaster, and Undyne were asleep on the couch. Alphys and Papyrus were cleaning up the mess. Flowey, from his old window perch,mwas threatening to kill everyone.

"Oh! Wait.... What?" Toriel looked at Flowey, who made a rude gesture with a vine.

"Aren't you dead?"

 


End file.
